Lillian Earlene Gray

“Love Leaves a Legacy No One Can Steal”

“Lily”

THE FORMATIVE YEARS – ANTHONY, FLORIDA

Born on November 1, 1937, in Anthony Florida. Lillian Earlene Mitchell is the only child of the late Soloman Mitchell and Mattie Louise Hill. The name Lillian is derived from Latin and means Lily and Purity. Although she lost her father at the tender age of 3, she counts herself blessed to have grown up with her mother Mattie. Mattie loved her tremendously and didn’t believe in the words “I can’t”. In a letter describing her mother, Lily writes, “Disobeying Mattie Hill, had consequences, but I wouldn’t trade her for anyone I know!” Her mother Mattie was anointed with the gift of healing and hospitality. She would visit the sick/shut-in and would often be called to the bedside of the infirmed, but it was Mattie’s example of worship and service to others that most impacted young Lily. Assisting her mother in child rearing was her maternal grandparents Maggie M. and Christopher C. Hill Sr. (C.C. Hill Sr.), her Uncle Junior, Aunt Mamie, Uncle Buddy, and Aunt Fannie all of whom adored and doted on her. Lily describes her grandfather C.C. Hill Sr. as exacting and punctual, wanting everything to run like clockwork. She laughs when she describes all the ways he became frustrated with her for not meeting his expectation. Knowing Lily, she would never say if she did it on purpose. Grandma Maggie once described Lily as a curious, intelligent, stubborn child, albeit messy. Maggie loved to recount the story of how when Lily was in elementary school, it was customary for teachers to visit each student's home to meet their parents and get an understanding of their home life. The teacher would select a student to escort her around to each home. As the day approached, Maggie began asking Lily to clean her room, but she repeatedly refused. When the day arrived, the room was still a mess, and young Lily went happily to school unbothered by the condition of her space. That is until the student that was originally chosen to escort the teacher fell sick, and Lily was chosen as his replacement. As she entered the house with the teacher in tow, her face had the stricken look of someone marching towards the guillotine! However, fortunate for her, in her absence Maggie had cleaned her room, thereby keeping the true nature of Lily’s room from the teacher. She credits much of her spiritual lineage to Maggie who preached the gospel to migrant workers in orchards and fields. A young Lily accompanied her grandmother to tent meetings. Maggie eventually founded Anthony Church of God in Christ, now known as Zion Hill Church of God in Christ. In fact, it was Maggie who prophesized that Lily would become a State Supervisor. At the time, Lily thought that was ridiculous. Who could blame – she was just 8 years old! It is against this backdrop Lily grew and developed. Lily’s mother impressed in her (by any means necessary) that education was #1. She was a good student, but where she excelled was sports. She was good at basketball, drill team, and baseball. “Lil”

EDUCATION – TUSKEGEE OR BUST

During the Great Migration, Lil and her mother moved to Bridgeport, Connecticut. Mattie was joining her younger sister Mamie and they both built a life in the bustling metropolis. As a student Lil was conscientious and determined, she demonstrated a thirst for knowledge, excelled in her studies and received a lot of notoriety. Entering in her Freshman year at Bassick High School, Lil tested well above the 12th grade arithmetic curriculum. After just one year of math, she was exempted from the subject for her remaining years. Lil was very popular among her peers and a member of many clubs. Tall and statuesque, she was a fierce competitor as a midfielder in field hockey. She made many friends in and out of school, among them were a young Daisy Irvin, Kenneth Moales, Peggy Simpson (Moales) and Shirley Ceaser. After graduation, her first job was working for the famed Jack Paar show. The Jack Paar Show was like the Johnny Carson Show. She reported to the producer/director and lasted a single night. She said she wasn’t going to be anyone’s personal servant and quit the next day. Lil pivoted, setting her sights on early childhood education. A program at the University of Wisconsin looked promising. However, her grandmother Maggie, was not so keen on the idea - this integration stuff was new. Maggie talked Mattie into vetoing the idea and instead sending their Lil to Tuskegee College. Mattie’s sister Mamie and husband Sam were now there in Alabama. Sam was instructing the ROTC students. The decision was made - Tuskegee or bust! Lil was not pleased. While residing with her aunt and uncle, their 3 children, Sammy, Alvah, and Jean Lil had the opportunity to scare off one of young Sammy’s bullies - by reputation alone! When word reached the bully that Sammy had a cousin with 8-inch fingernails that could slice and dice anyone, all threats ceased! It was at Tuskegee Lil met Council H. Gray, a member of the ROTC. She married him without reservation or consultation (take that Mattie & Maggie!). Gray, (the name she called him which harkens back to his military years) was drafted into the Armed Forces shortly after his graduation. The young couple became a military family stationed in

various places until Council was deployed to Germany. During this time Lil came home to Connecticut and pivoted from early education to nursing, which would become her lifelong vocation and passion. The family grew and several more children were added to the marriage by birth and guardianship. “Mrs. Gray”

NURSING - “4TH FLOOR, MRS. GRAY”

Lily began her nursing career at St. Vincent’s Hospital (Saint V’s) as a Nurse’s Aide. There she found more than an occupation. She discovered her vocation and lifelong passion. While working at Saint V’s, she simultaneously attended Bridgeport Hospital School of Nursing and received her LPN in short order. After graduating from the program, Lily tried many areas of specialty. She started nursing with the Emergency Room Surgical Unit, but found it was “too messy” for her. She then switched to Maternity, but that too didn’t feel right. It was a chance rotation in Geriatrics that felt like home to Lily. The privilege of serving seniors and their families during some of the most challenging times of their lives was her calling. Paramount for Lily was the preservation of dignity, physical and mental exercise, and acknowledgement of their humanity, experiences, and wisdom. This was her mantra for her patients and their families loved her. During her 42-year nursing career, Lily worked for many employers. Her tremendous work ethic, responsiveness to her patients’ needs, her exacting ways, ability to find solutions to problems, and insistence on accountability from subordinates and for herself quickly endeared her to employers. Laziness was not in her lexicon. She worked at many Convalescent Homes, often simultaneously. She served as the 4th Floor Unit Manager of Park Avenue Convalescent Home (later renamed as Astoria Park) for many decades. When her children would call her at work, they’d ask the receptionist, “May I speak to Mrs. Gray?” And when connected Lily would answer, 4th Floor, Mrs. Gray.” Mrs. Gray was instrumental in the training and development of many generations of nurses and nurses' assistants in the region. Those who worked for her repeatedly gave similar accounts of her engaging teaching style, high expectations, and pointed feedback. After a storied career, 4th Floor Mrs. Gray retired from full-time nursing in 2001. “Mother Gray”

THIS IS THE CHURCH OF GOD IN CHRIST!

Aside from God and her family, if there is to be attributed another great love to Lillian, it would be the Church of God in Christ! Even at the age of nine, she became the Secretary for the State Supervisor of Florida. By the time she was a teenager she was an Evangelist/Missionary. When she moved to Connecticut in her teen years, and she was joined with Church of God in Christ Connecticut #2 under the leadership of Elder Samuel Braham and his wife Emily. The church continued to grow and in 1956, the church was renamed Holy Tabernacle C.O.G.I.C and was pastored by Pastor William Bascome. Under the leadership of Pastor William Bascome, Lillian served in several positions of increasing responsibility. This included the President of Young Peoples Willing Workers (YPWW) Sunday School teacher, usher, District Missionary, and many others. It was difficult to know exactly when and what positions Lillian held because she would never communicate her resume. Whenever someone would ask, she would say, “I’ve held many positions a woman could have in the Church of God in Christ.” She was relatively unknown outside of her own Jurisdiction until when she was appointed to State Supervisor by the late Bishop Ivory W. Holden. At her installation, State Supervisor Mother Rebecca Gorham, recounts that when she was asked by peers, “who is Lillian Gray, and where and what has she been doing?” She simply would reply, “She’s been working and at home raising her children. She’s the only missionary I know who

wasn’t trying to promote herself.” Lillian calls her spiritual journey a teaching and learning one. “A New Name”

REVELATION 2:17

“He that hath an ear, let him hear what the Spirit saith unto the churches; To him that overcometh will I give to eat of the hidden manna, and will give him a white stone, and in the stone a new name written, which no man knoweth saving he that receiveth it.” Over the course of several years Lillian’s health began to decline and on the afternoon of January 30, 2024, our dear Lilly, Lillian, Mrs. Gray, and Mother Gray flew away home and was gathered to her people. She lived a full, well rounded, rich and selfless life leaving us a priceless legacy of compassion, generosity, and service to others. Lillian was a beacon to her community, and her church. To her friends and loved ones, a safe harbor, and an endless reservoir of wisdom. Her absence will be felt by many. She leaves the sweetest memories to Darlene Y. Fraser (Edward), Dathan S. Gray (Monique), Damita L. Davis (Roderick), Dara H. Gray, Darvis J. Gray (Keyandra), Roevanzeese E. Williams and Barbara J. Russell. To her grand loves: DeWygee K. Williams (Byron), Shanar R. Fraser, Sinseara A. Mercado (René), Takara C. Gray, Andre S. Davis, Tristan J. Gray, Dara Gray, Jr. Dara Gray, JaBrea Freeman, Shakira D. Gray, DaShawn Gray, Deondra Gray, Ebony Dubose (Rodney), Dwayne Penn, Jaime Thigpen, Cory Penn, Kelvin Perry, Christopher Perry, Lamar D. Russell and James T. Russell. To her great-grand loves: Oriana D. Fraser, Gary D. Bennett, GariVonni D. Bennett, Lyon D. Fraser, De'niyah Gray, Daisha Gray, Dathan Gray, lll, Tavares Cooper, Jr. Thalia Cooper, Talon Cooper, Trenton Gray, Tanner Gray, Jaiden Gray, Triniti Gray, Jeremiah Mercado, Noah Mercado, Sanyra Williams, Charles Smith, III, Te’Yoni Smith, Dawion Barnes, Tavon Black, Khalid Black, Kelvin Perry, Jr. III, Kalmia Perry, Jeremiah Perry, Rashara Perkins (Jeremy), Kiara Whitehead (William), Amari Dubose (Alexis) Lamar D. Russell and Jordan Russell. To her great-great grand loves: Jayden Perkins, Meilani Whitehead, Jordan Perkins, William Whitehead, Jr., Legend Whitehead, Jaxson Perkins and Aria Dubose. She will also be missed by her devoted cousins Samuel Davis Jr (Sherline), Dorothy Mae Smith (Clarence), Annie Marie Brass and Priscilla Swinton. Her brother in-law Leo Gray (Mary), Sister in-law Emma G. Jackson and Aunt Etta Freeman. Her special loves Tasha Graham, Mwatha Grant and Lorraine Bascome.

“Every year has or had something special to offer so there may be a few things I would do differently, but basically God hassmiled on me and my family and many others I have known.”

– Lillian, handwritten letter, June 6, 2017